You Are Worth Investing In You!

I am trying to make changes in my life that will reflect self care and doing things that will bring me happiness and joy. I am about to turn 49 years old. I do not even know how this is possible. Where has the time gone? How is it possible that I have two grown daughters? I look back and really, truly miss the “good old days”. But life keeps moving you through it and it is so easy to get into survival mode that you lose yourself or parts of yourself along the journey.

Do you still do the things that you used to do? If you do not, why not? For me personally, I feel like I always have a million things to do and not enough time to do it. I think back to my old self and wonder at what point did I lose my ability to be so organized and put together? Surely, I can figure this out! Ha! Maybe not. But being realistic, I had so much more energy in my thirties to do things that I needed or wanted to do. I used to be able to shop for six hours and come home and make dinner and then give kids baths and pick up the house before the end of the night. I feel like although I don’t have kids to give baths to any longer, it takes me all day to figure out what to shop for and then if I get the shopping done, I don’t want to cook the food that I just got for the meal that I was going to cook. I think to myself that this is crazy and feel like I am failing at life. This is just one example of many things that I see happening in my life. So I got to get a grip and not turn into that middle aged lady that people are getting annoyed at. Heck, some days I can’t even stand myself so I know I am annoying others. LOL.

There are several things that I am doing to invest in myself and hopefully become a better me. One of those things is pretty simple. I am drinking less soda and drinking a lot of water. I notice a big difference in my skin and energy when I drink at least 60oz. of water a day. I definitely miss the soda but it is getting easier to leave it behind.

Holding friendships is another important aspect that I am focusing on. I don’t know about you all, but when I am overwhelmed and feeling frustrated with my life, I tend to become reserved and anti-social. I don’t reach out for my girl time with friends. People need people. Women need other women to talk to. As much as I fight myself on being social or not being social, however you want to look at it, I know that I feel better emotionally and mentally when I make time for friendships. Remember that everyone goes through stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff and crazy stuff. Friends have a way of being able to uplift you and help you decide what you need to be in a good space with yourself. Don’t underestimate the power of friendship.

Another thing that I have done is started my own business. I was working night shift and couldn’t be there for my family like I needed to be so I am on a new adventure with my career. It is amazing and freeing to be my own boss and be able to work from home. I will be writing updates on my business journey every once in awhile and posting videos to so check it out. You can go to succeedwithkari.com for more info and if you feel like you are interested in working from home please see my link.

I close this post with love and thankfulness to each of you that take the time to read my blog. I have been away from my blog for some time and one of my goals is to do better. I love all your comments and appreciate each and every one of you.

Be Blessed!

Kari

One Day At A Time

I feel like the phrase “One day at a time,” is often said when someone feels gloomy and overwhelmed by life or a situation that they are dealing with. I struggle with this phrase because it could really mean so many things. I say this when I feel like I have too many things to do and I know I am not able to keep up. My friend says this when she is struggling with depression. How do we know when someone really is taking things one day at a time or is this a statement to cause concern.

As most of you know, I believe people need people. I feel if someone is saying “One day at a time,” it is important to not just nod your head in agreement but to examine the intent of the person a little bit closer. In todays world where it seems like bad things are always happening and you less and less of happy stories with happy endings, it is important to pay attention. Be ready to help someone who is struggling. I don’t know how to always approach someone about their feelings, especially if they are dark feelings of sadness or grief. I do know that it doesn’t always take much to lift someone’s spirits. A cup of coffee, a listening ear, a encouraging word, buying someone groceries if they need them, giving someone a ride when their car is broke down, a gift card , it doesn’t have to be much.

I worked at a homeless shelter for several years and some of the residents that I encountered there were some of the most selfless people I ever met. These are people that are out in the freezing cold and starving, not a dime to their name and worried about the other residents needs. Are you like them? If someone brings a box of donuts to your office, are you in a rush to get to the first donut so you get the best one? I didn’t witness this very often at all. I think humanity could do better and be mindful of others. Not to mention that it feels good to put other people first.

If you are struggling and feeling as though you can only do life “one day at a time,” I encourage you to talk to someone that will be understanding and love you without an judgement. I think everyone feels this way often. Just remember that what seems insignificant to one person may be very triggering and a big deal for another. People have trauma and hurt that they have to process through. I am happy to talk to anyone who is really struggling. Send me a email and I will respond. Chins up buttercups! God loves you and you are amazing!

Let Go To Find Joy

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Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are living. Sounds easy enough right? For me, this is one of the hardest things to do. I am the type of person that once I get my mind set on something I do everything I can to make that happen and if it doesn’t happen the way I have imagined it should or not at all, I get frustrated and find myself having a bad attitude and being irritated about the way things are going. For me, it is definitely a faith issue. You would think that as blessed as I am, I would be at peace and know that God provides for me and knows my needs way better than I do. But I fail at this. I have anxiety and depression that takes over and I begin to question things that I have no control over. What good does this do? It is exhausting and I am having to learn and understand that things happen for a reason and most of the time when I look back throughout my life, I am thankful that situations played out the way they did and not always the way that I thought they should be.

For me it is a faith thing. For others it may not be. No matter where you stand with faith, I feel that in this crazy life of ups and downs, joys and disappointments and relationships and love, if you are not able to find the joy in your story, it is time for change. It is time to dig deep into who you are. Can you change your story to find joy? Can you put on a new set of glasses to see things differently? Can you stop being a spoiled brat and appreciate what you do have? I feel like I can say that because I often tell myself and my family that not to act like a brat. LOL. I don’t mean it in a hurtful way, but those words “spoiled brat” does get my attention. If your in a store and there is a child throwing a big temper tantrum because he wants a toy that he has been told he can’t have, should he be able to have that toy just because he threw a fit? Part of finding joy in the life you are living and your story is to sometimes weather the storm and ride the wave of appreciation. You may not get promoted in your job like you expected but you still have a job and it’s secure. You may not have your dream car or house but your car gets you to your “secure” job every day and where ever else you need to go and your house may not be the best house on the block but it’s warm and safe and you have a place to lay your head every night and call it home. This is how you find the joy in your story. It’s the silver lining.

I feel that God carries me even when I am kicking and screaming to do things my way. And yet he never drops me on my butt. I am learning to happily walk through my life as if it could be my last day on earth. Some days are better than others. Each night before I go to sleep I think about all the joys in my life. I won’t lie, my tendency is to lay there wide awake worrying about all the things wrong in my life and this world as things have gotten a bit scary with this Covid Pandemic happening. But I am choosing big and little things to be thankful for and to see as joy. My joys for today are family, friends, my dogs, my house were moving into, my favorite ice cream flavor, the smell of coffee (because I can’t drink it) and for the smell of rain. It is all perspective.

I understand that people have different situations and life is harder for some more than others. If you truly feel like you can’t find any joy and are severely depressed, I don’t want to make you feel worse because you aren’t feeling the joy in your life. I have been there. If you need to reach out to get help please do so. Don’t be your own prisoner. Depression and anxiety is real and I want you free of what ever pain you are feeling. reach out to someone you can trust if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or if you feel like life is too much. You are worthy and deserve to be happy.

Times are so hard for so many people right now with our economy being struck from the pandemic and from the hopelessness that society may be feeling and the fear that is instilled in us from false media. Do your own research, Don’t believe everything you see on t.v. or read on the internet. Also, remember hoarding is rude. We need to get through this time together. Take supplies that you need and leave some for the next person. If we all take a reasonable amount of supplies and food, we all will have what we need. I hope you all choose love and kindness and help others when you are able. Even if it’s with kind words of encouragement or opening a door for someone. Life is short and you can make a difference even when you do not realize it. It can take a moment to change someone or a scenario for a lifetime. I hope you all feel encouraged by this post. Please feel free to share you story or joys of your journey of life. I love to hear from you all. I am pretty boring so let’s hear from you all. Everyone, please stay happy, healthy and safe. May your cup overflow and be blessed!

Sorry I Was Gone For So Long

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Hello friends! I would first like to say I am sorry. I disappeared for a little while and am now getting back to writing again. I will be totally honest with you all. I have been struggling with myself, my life, my goals and finding the joy that is so obviously in front of me. I have a million things going right and sometimes I don’t know how to focus on the things going right. Instead I focus on the things that aren’t going right. It’s a mind game that I have got to stop playing. It is exhausting and it only makes me have set backs in my goals and dreams. One of which is to have a successful blog and be faithful to my writing and chatting with you all that are kind enough to read my blog. So here I am putting my big girl panties on and it’s time for chins up buttercups. LOL! I just love that saying. In all seriousness, I tend to shut down and disappear when I am depressed or struggling with life and I have to get better at handling it and not just disappear. I didn’t even realize how long I had been gone from my blog. How embarrassing.

So how is everyone doing with the stay at home orders that are in place? I am seriously worried for people. People need people. I worry about depression and suicide among those that are feeling confined and alone. I worry about children being in a safe environment at home and abused women and in some cases men, who are having to endure extra time with their abusers. I worry that people will ignore their health since it is almost impossible to see a doctor. All these things and more weigh heavy on my heart. On a lighter note, I really miss going to our favorite Mexican restaurant. LOL. It seems ridiculous to even include that but we have been going to the same Mexican restaurant since my kids were about 10 years old, who are now adults of 25 and 22 years old. It is our home away from home. I also miss my friends and family. I want everyone safe and healthy. Praying for everyone to stay healthy and hope to be able to give hugs again soon.

The bright side of having to stay home during this pandemic, is that it has given me a new perspective on the importance of slowing down and taking time for yourself and loved ones. The projects that have gone undone for who knows how long, finally got completed. The meals that families have prepared together because everyone is home to help. Then getting to eat at the table together and talk about the world or what your feeling or thinking. Not having to eat your entire meal in 10 minutes so you can get to the game on time or get one more thing done in order to feel accomplished for the day. There is a sense of relief to have to slow down and bask in the sunshine of life at home. It’s easy to get caught up in the go go go of the world. It has been very eye opening for me to realize how we let being busy control our relationships, our time, our progress on projects, our progress on ourselves, etc…

What are things that you are doing to stay busy during this time? I see so many more people out walking. Everyone seems to be a little more friendly than they used to. People are walking their dogs too? I don’t about you all, but my dogs are so spoiled by always having someone home with them now. They are going to be a hot mess when everyone goes back to work. LOL! People are sidewalk chalking. This is so fun to see. When your on a walk and you see cute little kid drawings and in some cases some amazing art done by adults as well. What a great family activity. Everyone can take part in decorating the sidewalk in front of their house or their driveway. So cool! I have personally kept busy with doing paint by numbers for adults and also doing diamond painting. It’s so fun. If you don’t know what diamond painting is, you can look it up on YouTube. Us artsy people get so excited about this kind of stuff. Ha! Also, trying new recipes, cleaning out closets and working out at home are some other things that my friends are doing to stay busy. Please feel free to share any ideas that would help us not be bored during this time.

I also want to reach out and let anyone know who is struggling with depression or if your in a bad situation during this time to reach out to someone, me, anyone. You don’t have to bare it all alone. I am hear if you need to talk or cry or run ideas by. Don’t wallow in sadness. Take everything one minute at a time if you have to. I promise, there is a new day and a new beginning starting tomorrow.

Please remember to check on your family and loved ones. Check on the elderly to make sure they have essentials. Check on your neighbors. Check on the single moms who aren’t suppose to take their kids into stores. Check on your pastors and church family. Drop food off to someone in need. In order to get through this we have to think of each other and not just ourselves. Selfish ways will be the demise of an individual. Don’t hoard food an cleaning supplies. Take what you need and will use. We will get through this together and be stronger for it. God bless you all. I appreciate you more than you can imagine. Don’t forget to comment. I am looking forward to hearing from you all and I promise to be more present as well. Stay happy, safe and healthy. Be encouraging and kind always.

Holiday Burn Out

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It’s only the beginning of December and I must admit, I am not enjoying the holidays this year like I have in the past. I am so behind on decorating and making things feel festive. I am usually loving the Christmas music on the radio, the lights on all the houses and all of the shopping craziness that goes along with this time of year.

Things seem hard this year. My vigor is gone. Am I just not be thankful or am depressed? Thanksgiving wasn’t normal. My Mother-In-Law wasn’t there. She passed away this year and she always made the stuffing and gravy. We had boxed stuffing, which I love and I helped my niece learn to make homemade gravy, but it wasn’t my Mother-In-Laws gravy. I knew Thanksgiving would stir my soul and my emotions. Now that Christmas is near and I am struggling with joy again, it is making me think about some things. Who do I want to be with on Christmas? Who needs somewhere to go on Christmas? Is there enough help at the local soup kitchen? Those are some of my deeper thoughts that go along with other thoughts of What gifts do I want to buy and for who? How much money is reasonable to spend? What am I going to cook this Christmas? These are the thoughts that fill my mind daily.

In reality, we create our own stress around the holidays, except for the pain and grief we bear from our family that has gone on to heaven before us. That is just there and hopefully we have support and skills to deal with those feelings. But let’s get honest. If you get anxiety from all the hustle and bustle of crowds in the stores and you get grumpy because the lady in the checkout line is just too happy and bubbly for your liking, then maybe you should shop online and save yourself the stress. I have had to do that this year. There are days that I am feeling just plain tired. I never thought I would struggle with this but here I am.

So what am I doing about my holiday burn out? I am keeping very detailed lists of what I need to do and when I want to do it. I ask myself if I need to ask for help with accomplishing my goal. Also, who should I ask to help? If I know that my best friend Suzy is all about coming over to help, but once she gets here and we start talking and low and behold 3 hours later we haven’t even started on what she came to help me with and she needs to leave in 20 minutes… that was not the person I should have asked for help. You always have that one person that is willing to help you but you know that you really just have too good of a time together and won’t get a darn thing accomplished. Save a girls night out for you and that person. Just because someone offers to help you doesn’t mean that they are the right person to actually get the job done. Put thought into your process and life can be a little less stressful. I am still trying to master this! I am also trying to be realistic. If I don’t have to do it this year, I am not. I don’t have to have every decoration put out. I don’t have to have a Christmas party or a even have to send cards to a hundred people. The struggle is real for everyone. I realize that sometimes I definitely get all in a tizzy about what I am not doing instead of slowing down and enjoying what I am doing. It’s ok not to be perfect and have everything looking like a Hallmark movie.

I am trying with each year, especially at Christmas to slow down, look at the big picture, not what is just in front of me but to relax and don’t sweat the small stuff. I have really realized that even when things are not perfect in our own mind and are not the way we would want them, it may be perfect for someone else. People don’t care if your house is decked out for Christmas or if your house is clean. They care about how they are treated at your house. They care about the memories that are being made with the people they love and care about. Take pictures every year. When you look at those pictures are you thinking about how clean someone’s house was or how many gifts were under the tree? No. Your remember what was being said at the time the picture was being taken, or how ugly your sweater was. LOL. Or how full your belly was because of the massive amounts of food you ate. Those are the important things.

Holidays are hard for some people. Trauma, death, sad memories, loneliness, illness and depression are real life things that effect how someone is feeling during the holidays. Be kind. Be courteous. Smile even when you don’t receive a smile back. You never know what it takes for some people to even get out of bed and face the day, especially when the holidays are associated with heartache.

I personally believe that Jesus is the reason for the season and that nobody should be alone during the holidays unless that is truly what they wish for. Open your hearts to make a difference for that someone you know that is struggling. It may be a hug that you can give, kind words, a hot meal, a shower, a warm bed, a plate of leftovers for the elderly neighbor that can’t get out in the snow, a surprise shoveled driveway, a compliment and so much more. The list can go on and on and on. It’s a hard world and people are hurting. Be the bright spot in someone’s day.

Holiday burnout means many different things for different people. If you are burnt out because your excessively shopping and exhausted? Stop! Don’t kill yourself. Slow down. It is not worth it. If you are burnt out because life just keeps kicking you in the teeth, ask for help, insight and don’t seclude yourself. You will only struggle more if you feel totally alone. If anyone needs to talk or vent, I am here. I will listen and not judge in any way.

Please feel free to comment on holiday burnout. I would love to hear your stories and successes. Be blessed and Merry Christmas to you all.

Holiday Blues

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It is that time of year again. Thanksgiving is a week away and the majority of people are thinking about al the things they are thankful for and reminiscing over the past year. Maybe you are thankful for your healthy family or your new job. Maybe it’s something more simple like a shower or a warm bed to sleep in, food in your belly, the friends that support you and care about you, your pets, the new car you just got. The list could go on and on. Everyone is thankful for their own individual reasons. I personally love to hear what everyone is thankful for each year. Being thankful isn’t just for the young or the old, or the richest or the poorest. Everyone, hopefully can find thanks in something no matter where your at in life.

Although I do believe everyone can find thanks in something no matter where they are at in life, I also want to point out that the holidays can stir up some not so happy emotions. If you have lost a loved one, have no family or had bad experiences during the holidays, then being jolly and cheerful during this time of year may be a struggle. A lot of people have trouble celebrating without the people that help make their traditions. It is hard and heartbreaking. It can cause people to be secluded and feel alone. In some cases people may feel suicidal. Personally, it has been a rough, hard year for me and my family. Both my Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law passed away six months apart from each other, family feuds, pets have been lost, health issues reared it’s ugly head for both me and my husband and hard times have happened. I definitely feel it this holiday season.

I feel like people have a hard time letting their family and friends know when they are “not happy” during the holidays or are really struggling. It’s suppose to be the happiest time of year right? So you don’t want to be the Grinch with the bad attitude and ruin everyone else’s jolly spirit right? There definitely needs to be a healthy balance of being able to be allowed to be a little sad or not in the holiday mood. I personally think that if you are truly feeling like you can’t attend the tenth holiday gathering in two weeks, then just be honest with who ever invited you and also with yourself. Let them know that you are working on dealing with some things and that you need to politely decline, but would love to catch up with them at a later date that is good for both of you. Just make sure you don’t let anxiety win and you end up isolating yourself too much and then feeling even more alone or sad than before.

Friends and family usually want to step in when they know that you are feeling blue during the holidays. Sometimes that is a blessing and other times it’s not. Keep in mind that they may not know how to help you get through your feelings. It is hard to know what to say or do when someone is dealing with depression or stress that makes them feel so low. If someone is offering to help, don’t be afraid to speak up about what your needs are. This way, there is no more guessing and it isn’t as awkward. Nothing like feeling like the big, pink elephant in the room and everyone is silent, not knowing what to say. That in itself is exhausting.

Another thing to avoid is do not intentionally put yourself into situations that are going to stir up emotions that will hit you like a ton bricks. For instance, if your spouse passes away and you had a special song that the two of you considered to be “your song,” it probably isn’t a good idea for you to have that song played at the party your going to throw so you don’t spend the night alone watching Hallmark Channel. If you want to play that song after everyone has left when you can freely sob and cry your eyes out until there are no more tears left, then do it! Guard your heart. I understand needing to hear it because it meant the world to you, but make sure your in a safe place with yourself emotionally.

It is very helpful for me to have one or two people that are my rocks. I can call them any time, day or night, I can cry, yell or vent, however I need too. They love me enough to love me through what ever I am going through. Find your people and use them when you are sinking. Always repay the favor back of course when you are in a better place and they are in need.

Holiday blues mean something different for everyone. Everyone has their feelings and they are what they are. We can’t always control them, unfortunately. It sure would make life so much better if we could don’t you think? Ha Ha. Heck, even when there are not a lot of holiday blues or family drama, the holidays can be stressful all on their own. You can’t always control rather or not it is a good scenario for you to be in but sometimes you can. Think about your needs to get through the holidays and start fresh next year.

I am going to end on a thankful note that I am blessed beyond measure with my friends and family, two little dogs, a cat and a turtle. I love the holidays but will definitely be missing my loved ones that are in Heaven this year. I still hear their voices and see their faces clearly every day. They want me to have joy in life so that is what I am going to do while missing them and loving them from afar. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas and feel loved and hopeful through it all. Please share any thoughts you may have on this. Always love to hear tips and tricks that you use to not have the holiday blues.

Expectations, Life and Love

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I think that expectation is one of the biggest things that can cause problems in a marriage or in life in general. If you think about it, life and love is full of expectations. From the moment we wake up in the morning to the time we go to sleep, we are meeting expectations.

The more I talk to people about their relationships and marriages, I realize that some people have a lot of things expected of them that is exhausting and stressful. For example, I have a friend that agreed when she married her husband that she would always cook every meal and that they would rarely eat out. For over twenty years she did exactly that with having five children. Now that her family is raised she definitely enjoys eating out and not cooking as much, but she still cooks on a regular basis. She is an angel for many reasons. Another example is expecting your spouse or significant other to dress a certain way and have a certain appearance. It is very specific to each couple what expectations are expected of each other. A big issue that can cause HUGE problems is money. Who pays bills, how much can you spend and save? Do you keep money together or separate? You get the idea. I won’t keep naming examples but when those expectations are not talked about and instead, assumed, It can be a deal breaker or cause for a very unhappy couple.

I definitely believe in expectations in relationships and marriage. I think that they need to be talked about, flexible and agreed upon by both partners. If you truly love your spouse, you will take their feelings into consideration. I feel that expectations, when done together and not in a controlling way, can enhance your love and will make your relationship stronger and stable.

I have been married for twenty-six years and let me tell you, we have battled over expectations. In my experience, our battle hasn’t been because we don’t consider each other’s feelings, but because we didn’t talk about them before we got married. We didn’t lay the foundation to be able to have healthy boundaries and expectations with each other. As a young married couple we thought we would just always figure it out as life happened and all would fall into place. Listen to me! Don’t be nieve to believe that if you love each other that you will always be happy. Life is hard and it can hit hard. I am just being raw and honest here. Obviously the ideal time to talk about expectations is while your dating and before you get married. This will put you at such an advantage to have a successful relationship and marriage. I am in no way saying that this will happen over night and that BOOM, your going to sit down with your spouse and have it all figured out in two hours. It may be a work in progress and that is very ok. Take the time to perfect it. Take the time to change things if something isn’t working. One thing about expectations is that they can change depending on your scenario. For example, if you are the person in your house that always gets up first and makes breakfast for your family and you have a new baby on the way and you are going to probably be up several times a night feeding the baby and doing what all new parents do, it might be a good idea to talk about the expectation of you still doing that once the baby arrives. These expectations can be put on hold, changed, thrown out the window or what ever you make of them.

Expectations can come in many forms and are specific to each person. What is important to one person may not be important to another. It is helpful to identify which expectations will be most important. If that expectation can’t be met, how will that affect the relationship? Will it cause anger? Animosity? Jealousy? Feelings of being unnoticed or unimportant? I know this may seem deep and scary. It is at times. But I promise once your freely talking about these things you will be glad that you did.

In a relationship, from my experience and viewpoint, you should never be expected to change who you are unless it’s for the better. If expectations are being asked of you that make you feel like less of a person, embarrassed or humiliated or degraded in any way it should definitely be evaluated and you should consider looking at the motive of your significant other or spouse. Putting unreasonable expectations on a person can be abusive and controlling. There is a healthy balance. You should always feel free to talk about changing an expectation if one person is stressing out trying to meet it. The idea of expectations is to make life easier so your more content in your relationship.

10 Expectations To Discuss:

  1. Will you keep your money together or separate? Be specific as to what that means to each of you.
  2. Will you be a one or two income family? Especially after kids.
  3. Who will be in charge of paying bills?
  4. Do you want kids? How many? It is a big problem if one person wants six kids and the other one wants one kid.
  5. How soon after baby arrives will mom go back to work?
  6. Will we have pets?
  7. What are each other’s sexual expectations? Waiting until marriage?
  8. Who will do the household chores and will one person be expected to do specific ones?
  9. Will we loan money to friends or family? This can be a problem if before your relationship one person was generous with helping others while the other one doesn’t feel comfortable continuing that way.
  10. How involved in each other’s family will you be? Will you be included like one of the family or be expected to just go along with things.

I hope this has given you something to think about and you feel it was helpful. Be blessed!

Breaking Free From Yourself

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The battle is real. Do you ever find yourself holding you back? I see it in myself all the time. I get in my own head and play these stupid head games. I ask myself a million “What if” questions. I procrastinate if I am not 100% sure. The need to get it right the first time is always the way I seem to look at things. But I am human, not God. I will make mistakes and bad decisions along the way. Why can’t I stop my brain from running a hundred miles a minute? Am I self sabotaging on purpose? If I am honest, I probably do. Some days I am just tired of the struggles. Then there are other days that I am on fire and ready to take on the world.

I often wonder if I broke free from myself and all the self doubt and self sabotage, if I would recognize myself. Would my friends and family still like me? What would my personality be like? Would it be different at all? If I broke fee would it be an internal change within myself or external? Maybe both? The unknown is scary, but can be exciting. I feel like in order to survive successfully in this crazy world we live in today, we have to break free from ourselves and live and learn as changes happen among the generations after us and how quickly technology changes. Also learning to take chances on ourselves and others and to trust that change can be good and empowering rather it be something were comfortable with or not.

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Walking Through The Mud

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It’s been awhile since I have posted anything. I do apologize for that. I have felt like the title of this post. I think I might be struggling with some anxiety and/or depression. I have always been such a happy person that this is something that I am uncomfortable with admitting and also feel like a brat for this struggle because I really am a blessed woman.

I wake up each morning feeling unsettled. My heart flutters with heart palpitations and I wonder what my purpose is. Why is life so hard? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do people die the way they do? Why am I not motivated to clean my house or socialize with friends? Why? Why? Why? I have what seems to be a thousand questions rolling around in my head and my brain never stops. Even though I want it to.

I often feel like everything is difficult and I feel like I am walking through mud. My body is slow and weighted down with worry. I don’t even always know what I am worried about. When I say everything is difficult, I am referring to simple things, such as getting ready for the day, remembering where my keys are, dropping things, forgetting things and feeling frustrated. What I do know, is that this year has been a hard year for our family. My Father-In-Law and my Mother-In-Law both passed away, about 6 months apart. My husband has had some serious health problems that is causing us to have some lifestyle changes, which isn’t totally a bad thing. It’s causing us to eat way better and be more aware of the fact that we aren’t 18 any more. I am also having some health issues and some days it just feels like a lot.

I am not one to run to the doctor and ask for medication all the time. I do wonder if I need to ask for help to deal with the emotional roller coaster that I find myself on most days. I grew up with a very depressed mom and I don’t want to end up like her. She would sit and cry for hours and wouldn’t know why she was crying. Or at least that is what she would tell me. I remember wanting to make life better for her, but she was never satisfied, so it seemed. I decided at an early age that I didn’t want to ever feel the way my Mom felt on a regular basis. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not sitting around crying all the time. But there are times that I feel it sneaking up on me. It is scary and I have to remember self care, which is hard for me.

As I grow older, I find that I am wanting a simple life with less worries, less stress and less drama. I am sure there are so many other people that feel the same way. I don’t want to be too proud or embarrassed to ask for help if needed. I want to be the best me I can be.

I want to express something. In all of my troubles and heartache this year, I know I am blessed. I know there is a God. I know that people love me. I know I am a fighter and I will get through this. I know I have to grieve and find my own happy places and grow as a person. Is it easy? No! It’s hard, it’s ugly sometimes, but I am hoping to something hard and ugly into something bold and beautiful. There comes a time when you have to dig deep down into the bottom of your empty soul and slowly start filling it up again with the things that will bring you clarity and joy. I love the word “joy.” It’s such a little word. But boy is it a mighty word. Just think about that for a minute. I imagine all the categories that can go under the word “joy.” What brings you joy? What do you need to dig deep about?

I will overcome these feelings that are overwhelming me right now. I hope to do it naturally and through being real with myself. However, I will refuse to sink and if I need help, I will seek it. Life has so many unexpected twists and turns, both good and bad. Remember you don’t have to be perfect. It’s ok to be transparent with someone you feel safe with. If you are “walking through the mud,” know that you are not alone and don’t try to handle your feelings all alone. Talk to someone you are comfortable with. I am hearing too many stories of people taking their life. My heart breaks if you are thinking of this as an option. I am here if anyone needs to talk, pray, cry, yell or vent. Reach out. Don’t do anything to hurt yourself.

Please comment as to how you deal with “walking through the mud.” I will list ways that have helped me. I am so interested to hear from people on this topic. I am glad you read this and I hope you have a blessed day.

Kari’s Helpful Tips To A Happier You:

  • Lay in bed a few minutes before getting up to just breathe and do positive self talk. Take deep breaths. Slow breaths, in your nose and out your mouth.
  • Make a list of what you are doing for the day. Once your list is accomplished… Relax. Do something you enjoy.
  • Get some fresh air. It’s good for the soul.
  • Eat well balanced meals.
  • Exercise. It helps clear your mind.
  • Ask for help
  • Touch base with one person each day to talk about how your feeling.
  • Remember, there is always tomorrow.

The Congress Bridge.

Congress Bridge, Austin Texas
Photo By Kari Grady

Hello everyone! I went to Texas to visit a family that I used to Nanny for and had a great time. I want to share with you an adventure that my daughter and I went on while visiting the gorgeous city of Austin. We went on a 1 hour boat cruise to see bats! Super cool!

There is a bridge that sits on Lady Bird Lake in Austin, Texas, called The Congress Bridge. An estimated 1.5 million Mexican free-tailed bats have made this bridge their home. Every night, after the sun sets and it’s getting dark, these bats fly out of the bridge and go hunt for their food. These little creatures fly up to 100 miles to go search for food. Amazing, isn’t it?

This is such a fun thing to do if you are looking for a laid back adventure. You are given a tour on a boat of Lady Bird Lake. You also get to hear some of the history of Austin. It’s a good time, a beautiful view of the city and a memory that you won’t forget any time soon. Try it the next time you are in Austin, Texas.

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