If you think about it, communication is the key to life or maybe I should say is the key to finding success in life. We use communication every day. Communication isn’t just talking. It’s in our actions, it’s in our body language, it’s how we say things and how we put extra effort into someone else to tell them we care about them. Communication can be as simple as speaking to someone you know or maybe don’t know. Your communication can cause someone to have a great day or a horrible day. It’s up to you to decide how you communicate and it can be a lot of work for people who struggle with positive communication skills.

I really want to talk about tone of voice. Think about it. When your talking to a child, most likely you are using a more quiet voice and not screaming or yelling your words to them right? If it’s a baby or a young child you probably even change how your voice sounds. I know I do and my family tells me I sound silly, but I don’t mind. Kids love it. It makes them more comfortable. No, I am not suggesting that you go around talking in a funny, little voice to everyone. I am suggesting that paying attention to tone may help you have successful communication with people.

When you are talking to a boss or going on a job interview, you tend to carry yourself a certain way. You want the job right? You dress to impress to communicate that your professional, you answer questions to the best of your ability without saying “Um” too many times and you don’t walk away from your boss while he’s still talking to you. It speaks volumes when you put an effort to make the other person feel heard and acknowledged through communication. It’s not always easy, but I do feel these are reasonable standards to go by.

One thing that I do not like personally is when people won’t look at you when you are talking to them or they are talking to you. Eye contact is something that I feel is no longer being taught with the younger generation. I am not sure why but it really bothers me. I feel like when people won’t look at you when talking to you or being talked to, that they may be hiding something or arebnot trustworthy. Am I alone in this thought process? I understand that there are people with anxiety and some disorders that may be the reason and I am not down playing that. I just think it’s important to be comfortable enough to be able to look at someone when they are talking to you.

I absolutely hate it when people point or shake their finger at you when they talk to you. Stop doing that! It’s belittling and demeaning. It makes you look like a “Know It All.” It comes across as overbearing and sometimes as bullying. I get it that some people are animated and need to do something with their hands when they are talking, but for me, pointing and shaking their finger at me causes me to focus on their finger instead of what they are saying. Just throwing this out there for people to think about.

Another big thing that can cause a problem in relationships and communication is a person’s body language. If I am telling someone something and they have their arms crossed, rolling their eyes or looking away as I am speaking, this is very disrespectful and I will call you out right there. If I am trying to have a conversation with someone and they are paying more attention to their phone than to what I am saying, I will probably ask you to repeat what I just said. Most of the time the person can’t tell me. So frustrating. Put the phone away and actually communicate people!

People communicate differently. I understand that and I am not asking for perfection. I just want people to be aware in today’s fast paced world to slow down and take time to listen, talk and respect each other not only in professional atmospheres but also at home with your kids, spouse, siblings, grandparents, the waitress, the cashier, etc… Think about how many people you communicate with every day. A smile or a wave of the hand can be a friendly hello. Communication is key to many different types of relationships.

Most importantly, I have found that having good communication skills will actually help in scenarios that there is miscommunication. Having good body language, staying calm, having eye contact, talking respectfully and with good tone can go so far in helping a uncomfortable or upsetting situation. Work on it folks! It’s not rocket science but it doesn’t always come natural either. My husband is very socially awkward. All this that I have discussed here is not a natural or easy thing for him. He thinks I am over the top with some things too. LOL. All I want to do is encourage better communication so that relationships, rather casual or professional can be improved and easier. Thanks for reading my ramblings. Please share your thoughts with me on this topic. Would love to hear from you.